Visionboards

Thanks to my friend Diane and my hubby, I went to a visionboarding workshop lead by the wonderful Maebeth Hill at Charlotte Family Yoga Center this past weekend.  Diane knew that I was looking for some focus and clarity in my life and she gave the workshop to me as a gift.  S insisted that I go even though I was nervous about it.  I am so glad that I went!

A visionboard is a visual reminder of one's plan, goals, or vision of one's life.  The theory is that if you look at a visual representation of what you want your life to be/look like, you will manifest those things in your real life.  Some people make it sound like some sort of magic, but I think it's really about becoming clear about what you want.  Once you're clear about what you want, you are more likely to make choices that lead you to that life.  Also, you are more likely to reject choices that will interfere with this vision of what you want.

I had a small experience with this a few years ago.  I was dating a man and I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I decided I needed to become clear about what I wanted in a partner.  I found an outline of a silhouette of a man and I wrote words on it to describe the kind of partner I wanted.  Very shortly afterward, I met the man who is now my husband.  He fit all of the things I was looking for plus I whole bunch of things I didn't even know I wanted.  I don't think there was some mystical power at work.  I think I realized I didn't want the relationship I had and I realized I wasn't going to find the one I wanted until I got out of the one I was in.  Then I didn't accept anything that didn't meet my vision of a partner.  My first foray into a visionboard brought me the man of my dreams!

This time, in typical Rhonda fashion, I had too much to fit on one board.  Also, finishing the boards was more emotional and exhausting for me than I could have imagined.

My first vision board: (clockwise from word "smile") Fun Time with my Kids, Growing a Vegetable Garden, Cheerful Home with a Porch, Organization. Yoga

My second vision board: (Clockwise from the word "happiness") Friends, Healthy Eating, My Marriage, Writing & Editing, Travel, and Laughter

The morning after finishing my visionboards, I woke up with a start realizing the one thing that is NOT on my boards: teaching college writing.  A few years ago, I thought teaching college writing was going to be my career, but after 8 1/2 years of waiting, no position ever opened.  Now, I'm at a new college, but I don't have the ambition anymore to pursue a full-time teaching position.  I love teaching, but I hate grading.  This makes being a writing teacher very difficult!  Another thing that didn't make my visionboards is getting a PhD.  I can't see taking the time away from my family to pursue a degree that would lead to teaching college writing full-time.

My daughter C, saw me making the visionboards and asked if she could make one.  She spent an entire day cutting out pictures and gluing them on.  Her visionboard fits her perfectly!  I was worried that since all I had were Better Homes and Gardens and Yoga Journal, she wouldn't find anything that spoke to her.  Boy, was I wrong!

C's visionboard

She is only ten, but her vision for her life is very clear.  She LOVES animals and nature.  She wants to be a veterinarian or zoologist.  She loves climbing trees and going to the beach.  I also love that yoga made it into her visionboard as well.  (I hope she did that for her and not me.)  My daughter clearly knows who she is and what she wants.  I hope she can hold onto that clarity as her vision matures and changes!

In case you're curious, making a visionboard requires only a few supplies:
1. Magazines
2. Scissors
3. Glue
4. Posterboard or something to put it on (The round one is poster board, the square ones are old chalkboards that we covered with paper before gluing on our pictures)
5. Mod Podge (optional)

As you look rather quickly through the magazines, without thinking about it, tear out anything that appeals to you or speaks to you.  Tearing out the pages first is best because it keeps you focused on one task at a time and doesn't allow you to over-think it.  Next, cut out the pictures.  Think about categories they might fit into like mind, body, and spirit; home, work, and play.  Mine didn't fit easily into any simple categories so I just grouped them by theme.  Then, glue the pictures onto your board, again without over-thinking it.  If you want, you can put a layer of two of Mod Podge on your board to finish it off.

If you make a visionboard, I'd love to see pictures and hear how it worked for you!.

Long Distance Cuddling

My husband (S) and I dated long distance for over a year.  (Three of those weeks, he was on the other side of the Earth in Japan!)  We spent lots of time and money traveling back and forth between Pennsylvania and North Carolina to see each other every two to three weeks.  In between visits, we would use Google Voice and Video (now called "Hangouts") to video chat every night from about 8 to 10 pm. My kids were in bed by 8 so we had time for actual adult conversations.

We had wonderful, long discussions about our days, life, kids, plans, and science. We talked about everything!  We laughed and learned from each other.  It was heavenly, except that we weren't together.

Each night, I would pretend to fall asleep so S would fall asleep because he would stay awake as long as he thought I was still up.  In the time between when we had finished talking and when we "fell asleep," the laptop would be on my bed next to my head and I could almost believe that he was there with me.  I would dream of a time when I could fall asleep with him for real, my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around my back.

We've been married for a year and a half now.  I still feel like we're on our honeymoon!  Every night, I get to go to sleep in his arms.  Sometimes, I remember just how badly I wanted that to be real and how blessed I am that it is!  Although I miss those long talks sometimes, I'm so glad our cuddling isn't long distance anymore. I love you, S!

J's Bucket List

On New Year's night at dinner, we shared our favorite events from 2013 including buying a house big enough for everyone to have his or her own bedroom.  We also discussed the difference between intentions and resolutions.  Each person told their intention for the new year.  Mine was to learn more about Eckhart Tolle's philosophies and apply them to my life, especially my relationship with my ex-husband.  A wants to get better grades, but he didn't have a plan for how to accomplish that so the family gave him some ideas.  C and S didn't have an intention to share; they're still thinking.  But J, decided he wanted to make a bucket list.  My child, who hates to write, asked for a paper and pencil and started his list with two items: bungee jumping and learning to speak the Navajo language.  He was fascinated by the Navajo code breakers in WWII.  He also informed us that Navajo is a dying language and it's only oral so he would have to go to New Mexico to learn it!